Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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(256): View more from Alabama

He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me

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(630): View more from Illinois

I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen

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(432): View more from Texas

Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die

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