Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.