When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.