Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
