Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
