I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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