I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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