I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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