chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
