We won't sleep together?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
