I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
