You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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