I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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