i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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