i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
