I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
