just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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