apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
