I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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