what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
