This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are we still banned from the library?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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