Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
