i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
