Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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