She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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