Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
