Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
