why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
