i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They have beer where we have blood.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
