I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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