Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
