Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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