my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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