You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
