I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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