At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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