You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
