My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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