I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
