Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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