I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize