Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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