puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
