I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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