So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
