do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
