you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
