Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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