I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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