Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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