I just pynch a tree in the face
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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