You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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