Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
