Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What drink are we having for lunch?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
