i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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