Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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