You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh god it's open bar.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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