She is in my trunk
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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