Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize