Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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