Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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