I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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