This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
