i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
